What to Expect in Online Sex Therapy
Have you ever felt isolated in your thoughts towards sex and intimacy? Do you miss the “old you”? Are you unsure about how to bring up your concerns to your partner(s)?
Online sex therapy in Minnesota and Colorado can help you work through these thoughts and more.
As a sex therapist in both Colorado and Minnesota, I get it. Talking about sex and intimacy includes opening up on a whole new level. Discussing struggles or feelings about the most vulnerable parts of your life can be difficult, especially if you feel pressured by family or friends to feel or be a certain way. In order to alleviate some of your nerves regarding sex therapy, let’s talk through some of the basics of seeing a sex therapist and some of what you can expect in sex therapy.
Who needs sex therapy?
Sex therapy is honestly for anyone who has experienced struggles or anxiety related to their sex life. Whether you are stressed about intimacy in general, don’t feel close to your partner anymore, or want to try something new in your sex life but don’t know how to bring it up, I can help. No matter what you are feeling, we can work through it together.
People who come to me for sex therapy often present the following challenges:
Difficulty obtaining or maintaining erections.
Feeling scared or stressed about sex and intimacy.
Considering and negotiating consensual non-monogamy.
Partners not having sex or feeling close for long periods of time.
Anxiety talking about sex - unsure how to talk directly about sex.
Unsure about what they like or what feels good/pleasureful.
The thing is, some of your sexual questions and challenges are not your fault. For example, it only makes sense that you might have anxiety around intimacy if you experienced family or sexual trauma in your past. Or, maybe you have feelings for multiple people at a time and feel confused about what to think or feel. Sometimes, people see me for sex therapy because they feel a disconnect between their body and their emotions. I’ve also talked to people who have a history of purity culture or were not raised with sexual education and therefore are unsure what to think, feel, or even how to act when it comes to sexuality and pleasure.
If any of these have resonated with you, I want you to know that it is OK. My therapy space is a safe place for you to let out any feelings you have towards sexuality and intimacy. I promise to approach your concerns with compassion and gentleness to create the safest environment possible for us to talk about some of the most vulnerable experiences of your life.
What does online sex therapy in Colorado and Minnesota look like?
Again, my goal is to create a comfortable and safe place for you to feel okay talking through some of these deep, intimate feelings. I’m very clear and direct with clients on what I am thinking and what I think could be helpful for you. Further, I am a somatic focused therapist, so I work from a “bottom-up” approach. This means that when working with me, we will work on noticing the body, emotions, then the mind so that we can truly connect you to your present experiences. And, I can support you in understanding and processing the past so that you can find grounding and finally move forward.
I'm also informed by sensorimotor therapy, Buddhist Psychology, EMDR, narrative therapy, psychodynamic therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and my many teachers from various parts of the world. This means that I have background knowledge in many different areas and techniques and will work with you to find a therapeutic approach that best fits your individual needs. Again, sexuality and intimacy are extremely vulnerable things, so I want this to be an experience that you can learn from, benefit from, and come out feeling more comfortable with yourself.
Techniques we will use in Sex Therapy
While we will be tailoring the therapeutic experience to fit your needs, I do have some general coping skills and resources that I encourage you to try. While sex therapy is a great place to talk and let your frustrations out, there are things to practice outside of the therapeutic setting to really help you heal.
Breathing Techniques
Notice your breath, the whole breath. Slowly and comfortably. Feel how it moves through your body and how your body moves with it. Stay with 10 breaths. Notice what it is to be present with your experience. No answer is right or wrong - good or bad - it's simply your experience.
Educating Yourself About Sexuality
Listen to podcasts or read books about sexuality. It's helpful to hear and read folks talk about sexuality directly and with good information. Some of my favorite pods are Sex Gets Real and Foreplay.
Communicate With Your Partner and Grow Together
Talk with your partner(s) about your relationship and sex directly with curiosity. Try the Gottman Card Decks App. The Love Maps, Open-Ended Questions, and Sex Questions are great places to start. Stick with the cards that feel emotionally safe to ask at the time you use them. If cards feel particularly vulnerable or unsafe, that's great information to bring into therapy.
Sex Therapy Can Help
Regardless of where you are in your sexuality and intimacy healing, we all have some things in common. We are all looking to be seen, heard, and cared for. Wherever you are in your journey to feel connected and secure, you're OK. The more you can be gentle with yourself and the people you care most about, the more you'll find your needs met. In therapy, we slow down your experience enough to feel, process, and authentically express yourself. This is one of the paths to the pleasure, connection, and wholeness you've been craving. And together, we can help you reach those goals you’ve been aiming for.
Begin Online Sex Therapy in Colorado or Minnesota
You want to feel good about who you are and connected to the people you care about. And you want sex to be safe, pleasure-filled, and dare I say...fun! You deserve to have a smile on your face when you think about sex and the most intimate connections in your life.
As a sex therapist with specializations in trauma, EMDR, and couples therapy, I understand the weight that our sexual health and preferences carry. If you are ready to start sex therapy sessions, contact me to schedule a free consultation. My online therapy practice provides services to those in the states of Colorado and Minnesota.